Aidan is running a series of writing exercises on his blog and I’ve decided to join him. The first exercise is about allusion and using it in your writing. I’ve given myself one hour to write a scene and tried to include at least one allusion. I think I’ve succeeded with the allusion, even if the scene isn’t complete.
The woman slapped the card on the scarf draped table and glowered. My future obviously didn’t look promising but for forty-five dollars and change I was hoping for something more than eternal damnation and a nose full of incense.
“The Wheel.” She sounded like a donkey with a six-pack-a-day habit and ground phlem in her throat as she stabbed another card, Catwoman with her disciples on a leash. “The Devil.” Another card was impaled on her sharp, craggy finger. “Three of cups. Your boyfriend’s sleeping with another woman.”
I actually felt my eyes pop and the crack as my jaw unhinged. “What?”
“Your boyfriend,” she said, slowly. “He’s screwing another girl.”
“Agh, ok but …”
“But nothing.” She waved her hand and sat back in the fold-able camp chair. “It’s karma, see?” She tapped the first card, The Wheel. “You screw around on your ex, your new boyfriend screws around on you.”
I enjoyed the image of the devil card as catwoman with her disciples on a leash. There are a number of allusions here (catwoman, wheel/karma). I liked how you used the wheel working it into karma. For me, this works as a closing to the scene. It builds on the tension of the reading and then has a minor twist at the end.
Thanks for the feedback. I’ll see if I can mould it into a full fledged piece one day.
I’m not actually sure if The Wheel (actually called The Wheel of Fortune) card works as an allusion because that’s, loosely, the actual meaning of the Tarot card.